that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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