Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize