I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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