my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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