Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You have to summon your inner elephant
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
