p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
