At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
