I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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