no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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