Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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