and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
