There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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