I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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