we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I am available for nakedness
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
