Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
