there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
