Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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