I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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