help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize