hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
