Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
