what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize