I must be too annoying 4 u.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
