Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
