is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
