Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
