what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
