Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
