i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I faked an abortion last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
