Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
