I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
