She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
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He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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