at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
