AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
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it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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