her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
