Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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