My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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