She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
