she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
