Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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