We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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