I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hope mine doesn't look like that
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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