this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
