he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
so much tequila, so little girl.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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