pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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