If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
