Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better