$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would fuck him just for his dog