Someone shit on the floor
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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