would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff