went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
