Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
All the doctor said was why
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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