Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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