So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
