Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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