this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
