I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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