you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
