I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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