I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
