Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
