I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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