I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
