happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
