life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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