I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
